“Why does the skeleton go to the movies by himself? Because he has no body to go with.”

- Tye Smalls, who lives in Bed-Stuy and says he’s “about 15,” was playing guitar in Times Square when he overheard another man telling a joke and offered his own.

*Peter whispers to his son, Manny* “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Manny: “The chicken crossed the road!”
Me: “Why?”
Manny: “Because.”
Peter: *whispering* “To get to the other side.”
Manny: “Because the other side!”

- Manny Perez, 4, was walking with his dad, Peter, 44, on their way to Chuck E Cheese’s in Sunnyside.

“This woman is at the edge of a cliff. She’s about to jump and a crowd has gathered around her. She says, ‘If you step any closer, I’m going to jump right off this cliff!’ Someone in the crowd shouts, ‘Eh, don’t believe her. It’s only a bluff.’” 

- Olli Haaskivi, 28 and from Sunnyside, was hanging out in Gantry State Park. 

"What's worse than one dead baby stapled to a tree? One dead baby stapled to three trees."

- Devin Nelson, a 23-year-old Crown Heights resident, was dressed as a princess and passing out fliers for a show.